So here I am trying to think of the right words to say to explain everything that has been going on in my life. This blog could turn into 4-5hrs of writing for me because I love to write but I won’t bore you with ALL of the details. I know I have a lot of fans that sincerely care about (especially from seeing the response of emails that I have and continue to receive) so I know you guys would love to hear about everything but like the one comment that was left on my last post, me being emotional and talking about personal information, “is hard to jerk off to.”
Okay, so where do I begin? I really have no idea; I’m just going to write this as things come to mind so I’m sorry if it’s jumbled and doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. The truth is, I’m still confused and frustrated with the way things have been so I haven’t even made sense of it all.
I think I want to start with the drug rumor. If you follow me on twitter, you know that I’ve turned into a little raver and have been to 4 raves since late April. I want to make it clear that I am NOT a drug addict. Taking E at raves is a fun thing that I like to do but it’s more of a social thing. It of course is not good for you and it does take me on an emotional roller coaster but I’m not out of control and I’m not doing it constantly. Most people like to go out on a Friday night and hit up a bar or club to get shitty drunk and let loose but instead of that, I choose to go to a rave on a Saturday night, maybe once a month. Since I am an emotional person, it tends to fuck with me a bit but I have it under control. I never let it affect my work or even become an addiction. I know myself better than anyone so if you were/are concerned, don’t be. I actually feel that it’s helped sort out a lot of things that I’ve been struggling with.
On that note, why have I been MIA? There’s several reasons but the main reason has been my thoughts about my future. Although I sincerely love performing in the adult industry, it’s not something I want to do for the rest of my life obviously. I’ve only been in the business for a year and a half now but I feel like it’s coming to an end. I’m still performing as of right now but because the business is really slow, I’ve had a lot of time to think about things. Basically, I’ve been trying to work on myself and become a better person. I have a lot of personal issues that I need to deal with such as self confidence and independence and being in the adult industry is NOT helping me. One of the reasons I got into the industry was to get ahead financially, but because of several bumps in the road that I have encountered, it’s been hard to make one step forward when life keeps making you take 10 steps back. I’m extremely passionate about going to school and I’ve recently decided that I want to do something in the nursing field. I’m working on making my hopes and dreams become a reality but it’s going to take time. For now I’m going to take work and still shoot until I can completely walk away. I don’t have much support in my life so everything is extremely scary when you’re all alone. This is something that I’m working hard on within myself and I know it’s only going to make me stronger.
Someone had mentioned something recently about Cassandra Calogera retiring and thinks I’m retiring as well because of her. That’s incorrect. It is true that she retired and is completely out of the business but her decisions and choices in life do not reflect on mine. It just happens that we’re on the same page but she has family and friends that she can turn to for help. Unfortunately, we have to part ways for awhile because she feels that moving back to Connecticut to be with her family is the best decision for her. I support her 100% but since she’s moving out, that puts me in a difficult position because my dreams of going to school have to be put on hold since now I have to pay for her half of the rent as well. Like I said, every time I try to get ahead, there’s always something that makes me fall back. I’m going to try and find another roommate but it’s going to be hard because I won’t let just anyone move in that I don’t know and trust. I’m not sure how that’s going to work out but I’m going to deal with it as it comes and hope for the best. With everything that has been going on, her moving out was just icing on the cake. I just lost the only friend I had out here in LA, who isn’t stressed about it like I am.
Now the MAIN reason I have not been around is because of my website. If you joined at any point but had to cancel for whatever reason, thank you for putting your hard earned money into my site and being so supportive. If you joined my site and are still a member as of right now, you’re awesome for staying as long as you did and I also want to thank you for being a member. If you never became a member for whatever reason, no worries. I still love you guys just the same. Before I get in deep, I want to thank every one of you that has supported me since day one till now and anytime in between. I can’t even come up with words right now to show my appreciation but please believe that I truly mean what I say. I appreciate anything and everything that you have given.
Okay so my website: what’s going on?? I won’t go into specifics because even though those that are involved have already talked some real heavy and hurtful shit behind my back (that they don’t know that I know about) and probably still are, I will not trash talk them by name. All that I will say that is pretty self explanatory is that I got fucked over.
There’s a lot that goes into having a website, too much to even list but because I’m a nice person and tend to trust people when I shouldn’t (story of my life), I got used and spit out before I could even realize it and then it was too late. I have received NO money (other than a bill or 2 paid for) from my site. Because of that, I chose to NOT provide any more content to www.sierraskyelive.com. If you noticed, it hasn’t been updated in about 2 months now, I never sign on, I never webcam and that is because I refuse to put my heart and soul into something like I did for over a year, and then not get compensated.
That’s pretty much all I will say. I have been honest since day 1 with my fans and you guys have appreciated it, I won’t stop now. I thought long and hard about if I should talk about what has been going on but YOU deserve to know since YOU guys are the ones that are putting your hard earned money into my site. Please know that this was not a scam of any sort but just poor judgment on my part. I thought having this site would open doors for me but instead it made my life way more complicated then it needed to be.
Will I have another site? Who knows but it’s not looking likely. I can’t go through something like this again. It has killed my spirit and now sometimes, I wish Sierra Skye was never created. I feel like I’ve failed myself as well you guys, my loyal fans. I’m so sorry for having it end like this. I really had hoped my site would have taken off, instead of this.
I’m not going to tell you guys what to do but I am no longer a part of www.sierraskyelive.com, so if you’re a member right now, if you’d like to stay and re-watch the content that is on there, over and over, feel free but it will not be updated again with new content. If it IS updated then it is NOT by me.
I will continue to be a part of twitter and other social networking sites. I still want to keep in touch with my fans and I hope you guys forgive me. I love you all dearly and I wish I would just wake up from this nightmare.
Oh and make sure you have an alternate way of getting a hold of me, whether it be email or twitter because I will be creating another blog because this one will probably be shut down at some point. If you’d like to keep in touch with me and what I’m up to, hit me up and I’ll let you know where you can find my new blog.
I hope this entry answered some questions but if you still have more, feel free to ask. Love you guys.
xoxo