I was hoping to write a positive and upbeat blog since my last few have been a bit depressing but I feel like I have this freaking black cloud over my head. I wanted to vent and write about Ami yesterday but I was too much in shock and then just too upset in general.
Ami Jordan was one of the first girls in porn that I met and became close with. Back when I first came out to California to start doing porn, I was with Type 9 Models and when I came out here for weeks at a time, I would stay in a model house. I’m not going to lie and say it was a fantastic situation but I made due the best that I could. I was coming out to a state where I knew no one and I had to live with anywhere from 3 to 8 girls at a time in a 4 bedroom house. There was usually 2 girls to a room and you flew in and had no idea who you’d be rooming with. It was awkward at first but I kind of got used to it. The fact that we had no transportation and were kind of located in the ghetto, didn’t make it much better either.
On my first trip out here to Cali, I met Ami. Ami was from Tennessee and had this cute southern accent. She had bright blonde hair and was super sweet. She was a natural beauty and we got along right away. After getting to know her quite well (we always had tons of time to kill so we talked about pretty much everything) I found out that she had a hard life and seemed to always have things never going her way. I also found out that she had a problem with some substances and my heart went out to her. She was such a sweetheart but seemed to always be struggling in one situation or another. As much as I wanted to help, it wasn’t any of my business so I just tried to give my advice and leave it at that.
Once we got to know each other a little better, we started making more friends and going out to all of the porn parties with other girls in the model house. At that time we were all getting along great and having an awesome time. After a few trips out to Cali, I stopped seeing her. We would keep in contact here and there via text but other then that I would just hear how she was doing and what she was up to from other people in the industry. I really liked Ami so I was sad that we never came out to work at the same time anymore.
About 6 months ago was the last time I heard about her. I didn’t hear good things because I was told that she had gotten into some more trouble at home and might be taking a break from the business. I remember hitting her up in a text but never got a response. I had figured she got a new number or something and hopefully I would run into her at some point. Then yesterday Cassandra gets a text from a friend in the industry saying, ‘it’s so sad about Ami Jordan.’ Cass had never met her and was just reading the text to me and when she said Ami’s name, my mouth dropped. I was scared to ask what was wrong with Ami but the sickening feeling in my stomach already told me.
As far as I know, it’s uncertain as to what caused her death. Since I know her and know the things she has encountered I’m pretty sure I know how she passed away. Porn really fucks with girls in general but it’s so sad to know that she was only 19 years old. She was just a baby and now she’s gone.
I can’t help but think back to so many good times that I had only a year ago with Ami and all of the girls at the Type 9 model house. I can’t believe she’s gone and I wish we would have kept in contact more and I could have done or helped prevent this. I know I probably couldn’t have but death really fucks me and for whatever reason, I feel helpless.
I was going to post pictures of Ami because I used to have a bunch of us, but I can’t seem to find them now 
I could search her online but I’m sorry, the last thing I want to see is nude photos of her. I knew her beyond Ami and I don’t want to remember her as Ami Jordan. Life really is too short
Sorry guys, I just needed to get this off of my chest. I promise more positive blogs coming soon. I’m feeling more upbeat lately (other then this tragedy) so I’m going to get back to posting fun pics and blogs every day 
Love you all.
Your IP Address is:
38.107.191.118
Saturday, 19. June 2010
hi sierra its so sad babe.19 is not an age babe.life is only just starting.its never good when someone passes away especially if u knew them.she was a beautiful girl.but at least now she will rest in peace babe.sierra its ok babe its understandable you’re upset.im glad you’re more upbeat.just remember babe all your true fans love u and will support u always.you’re beautiful,lovely & Very talented please never forget that xxx
Saturday, 19. June 2010
so sorry for the loss of your friend…..hold your head….
Saturday, 19. June 2010
I am so sorry for the loss of a good friend. Death is always hard for everybody. She’s in a much better place now and she’s looking down on u and she’s proud of all of the things u have done before. Love ya sierra.
Saturday, 19. June 2010
I’m sorry Sierra, I know whats its like losing a friend you haven’t been able to keep up with. In some ways its worse then losing someone you see every day.
Sunday, 20. June 2010
There is nothing good from the death of one so young. It is just sad that anyone ever has to die before really ever getting a chance to live. Ami having had a hard life, being more or less constantly involved in drama, and getting into the porn industry which most likely escalated the issues she suffered from… it is just tragic.
Dealing with death is always hard. Sierra, I’m glad that you were able to share your thoughts and feelings on the matter. Wishing you much love, and I am sure that Ami appreciated having you as a friend.
Monday, 21. June 2010
Life Shows No Mercy. Never…. (… gotta check now that song by The Stranglers, to see if it’s any good)
It’s events like this one that open our eyes. Amy probably didn’t have a chance. That’s super super sad. But it shows us also that we never should close our eyes to the dark sides of others (even if there’s nothing that can be done). And that we never should close our eyes to our own dark sides. We always will get a bill.
Sierra, posts like this one make you really special. Big up for keeping things real.
Monday, 21. June 2010
panhype,
Thank you and I always keep it real. Real life isn’t all sunshine and butterflies. I like to write what is on my mind so whether it be XXX or real life issues, I’ll be writing about it
Tuesday, 22. June 2010
I think this shows us that the you have a clear heart and sharp mind – instead of just dimissing her when you parted ways, you did everything to keep in touch, and you thought of her, and that is a beautiful thing indeed. Props to you for being warm and considerate towards her and always wanting to be there for her – you cared, and that speaks volumes of your soul.
Thursday, 24. June 2010
I am so sorry to hear about your friend. You are trully such a lovely and kind girl. Pain is never a good thing and so is death. The fact that you feal the pain just shows how great you are.
Wednesday, 30. June 2010
I”m very sorry for your loss Sierra! it seems like we only find out how important a person is in our lives after they are gone! We”re so busy doing other things and seeing other people that we lose touch and never really tell them how much we love them! You can’t take life for granted! Live Life to the fullest and tell those closest to us how important they are!
Much Love, Scott
Sunday, 11. July 2010
It’s kind of a shame you thought there was any reason to apologize. You let yourself be human in a way that isn’t about marketing or selling an image. Proud of you for letting yourself be honest, you should be too.
Sunday, 1. August 2010
Sierra I know this feeling all to well and I’m truely sorry you gave to feel this way but hun, It was her life and her choices to make you can not blame your self or place that on your shoulder that you could have or should have done something to “Save Her” life doesn’t work that way and its not fair to her or the memories that you and all of her friends and family have of her to blame your self for anything that has happened in her life. All we can do is live our lives the best we can and learn from the things we see others doing (Either good or bad!) and try our best to appreciate and be grateful to all the people we meet how understand that life is a time for learning, loving, and teaching one and other not for hurting, lying, and deceiving the people you clame to care about until they can no longer trust you!
But back to the subject at hand and sorry for that rant but it needed to be said.
I worry the same way every single day about you that I’m going to come to findout months after the fact that I’ve lost you forever in this same way since I see you as one of my closest friend and No I’m not talking about the “Sierra Skye” that all these people online know I’m talking about that Real girl. The sweetest, most honest, upfront young lady from Pa. that I met what seems like so long ago!
I just want to say this to you I deeply appreciate your friendship and all the times we spent talking, the times we have shared on here and the things you have taught me about life and even about my self!
Thank you hun (BLV)