I was hoping to write a positive and upbeat blog since my last few have been a bit depressing but I feel like I have this freaking black cloud over my head. I wanted to vent and write about Ami yesterday but I was too much in shock and then just too upset in general.

Ami Jordan was one of the first girls in porn that I met and became close with. Back when I first came out to California to start doing porn, I was with Type 9 Models and when I came out here for weeks at a time, I would stay in a model house. I’m not going to lie and say it was a fantastic situation but I made due the best that I could. I was coming out to a state where I knew no one and I had to live with anywhere from 3 to 8 girls at a time in a 4 bedroom house. There was usually 2 girls to a room and you flew in and had no idea who you’d be rooming with. It was awkward at first but I kind of got used to it. The fact that we had no transportation and were kind of located in the ghetto, didn’t make it much better either.

On my first trip out here to Cali, I met Ami. Ami was from Tennessee and had this cute southern accent. She had bright blonde hair and was super sweet. She was a natural beauty and we got along right away. After getting to know her quite well (we always had tons of time to kill so we talked about pretty much everything) I found out that she had a hard life and seemed to always have things never going her way. I also found out that she had a problem with some substances and my heart went out to her. She was such a sweetheart but seemed to always be struggling in one situation or another. As much as I wanted to help, it wasn’t any of my business so I just tried to give my advice and leave it at that.

Once we got to know each other a little better, we started making more friends and going out to all of the porn parties with other girls in the model house. At that time we were all getting along great and having an awesome time. After a few trips out to Cali, I stopped seeing her. We would keep in contact here and there via text but other then that I would just hear how she was doing and what she was up to from other people in the industry. I really liked Ami so I was sad that we never came out to work at the same time anymore.

About 6 months ago was the last time I heard about her. I didn’t hear good things because I was told that she had gotten into some more trouble at home and might be taking a break from the business. I remember hitting her up in a text but never got a response. I had figured she got a new number or something and hopefully I would run into her at some point. Then yesterday Cassandra gets a text from a friend in the industry saying, ‘it’s so sad about Ami Jordan.’ Cass had never met her and was just reading the text to me and when she said Ami’s name, my mouth dropped. I was scared to ask what was wrong with Ami but the sickening feeling in my stomach already told me.

As far as I  know, it’s uncertain as to what caused her death. Since I  know her and know the things she has encountered I’m pretty sure I know how she passed away. Porn really fucks with girls in general but it’s so sad to know that she was only 19 years old. She was just a baby and now she’s gone.

I can’t help but think back to so many good times that I had only a year ago with Ami and all of the girls at the Type 9 model house. I can’t believe she’s gone and I wish we would have kept in contact more and I could have done or helped prevent this. I know I probably couldn’t have but death really fucks me and for whatever reason, I feel helpless.

I was going to post pictures of Ami because I used to have a bunch of us, but I can’t seem to find them now I could search her online but I’m sorry, the last thing I want to see is nude photos of her. I knew her beyond Ami and I don’t want to remember her as Ami Jordan. Life really is too short

Sorry guys, I just needed to get this off of my chest. I promise more positive blogs coming soon. I’m feeling more upbeat lately (other then this tragedy) so I’m going to get back to posting fun pics and blogs every day Love you all.