The date’s wrong but this was on my 21st birthday.

That day kind of sucked because my 21st fell on Thanksgiving that year. I went out at midnight the night before but that only left 2 hours of partying. I did get pretty fucked up within those 2 hours and I did go out Thanksgiving night as well. However, since it was Thanksgiving, there was only one bar open and it was jam packed since it was the only one open. I didn’t stay long because I don’t like crazy large crowds but overall, it was an okay 21st.

Please make sure you follow me on my new twitter. I still don’t know what the deal is as to why all this chaoticness is happening but I’d appreciate you following me onto something new. It’s weird only having 400-something followers but fresh starts are good, right? You can follow me here!

Sophie Dee had a re-do party last night at Aqua Lounge in Hollywood. Her last party didn’t go so well, so she had a re-make of a party and it was a blast!

Cassandra Calogera and I went dress shopping during the day and then she hung out with me until her makeup artist came over to my place to do her makeup. Sophie had already planned for me to get my makeup done so I just hung out until it was time to go to Sophie’s. She had gotten done early so Cassandra wound up meeting me there when she was done.

Before long people were filling Sophie’s place and we were ready to party!! She had a whole bunch of people going in the limo and it got crazy before we even pulled up to the club! When you pack in a whole bunch of hot porn people together, shit is GOING to go down. Girls started hooking up on the ride there and tits were popping out left and right. Sophie, Cassandra and I were sitting next to each other so we had to get a picture of all of us with our tits out! I freaking love that picture and I can’t wait to do a scene with both of them together. We all have huge tits and asses so it’s going to be so fucking hot!

We got to the club and it started off better then the last party because we all got in right away. We did the red carpet and then it was party time! We went to the VIP but it got crowded fast and girls who were being bitches kept bumping into me and tying to move me out of the way, so I said ‘fuck it’ and Cassandra and I went to the bar. There was a bottle in VIP but getting to it was impossible. The bar was empty so we grabbed a shit ton of drinks to start the night off right. Cass did 3 shots plus a drink and I got 2 shots and a drink. Before long we were feeling good and decided to walk around to check out the club. It was cool but they were playing shitty music so that sucked because I really wanted to dance. We tried to go back to the VIP but it was so crowded so we just hung out.

We wound up meeting some gay guy who was pretty cool. He offered to to buy us drinks so that was sweet and we ended up spending time with him. While we were hanging out, Sophie came up to me and was really upset with me. She was upset that I had walked away and left her in the VIP and thought I ditched her. I was so sad that she thought I would do that. I told her that I kept getting pushed out of the way so I left and walked around so I didn’t have to deal with it. I felt really bad but she was pretty mad and walked away. I didn’t know what to do so I let it cool down and then I tried again at the VIP. It had cleared up later on so we talked and we worked it out. I love Sophie and I value our friendship so I never want to upset her. I’m SO glad we’re okay now.

The limo ride after the club was even crazier. People sucking and fucking everywhere! Ha. Then when we got back to Sophie’s it was a little crazy for a bit too but Sophie and I sat on the couch and cuddled for a couple hours. I’ve never really cuddled with a girl before and definitely not that long. It was really nice. She’s definitely one of my best friends in the industry and I love her to death.

Overall this party was way better and it didn’t hurt that I got pretty fucked up. I paced myself though because I didn’t want to black out. Below are all the pics I took with my camera, but between Sophie, Cassandra and photographers, there’ll be tons of more pics to come so I’ll probably be posting a part 2 to this entry. Click on the pics to see them bigger!!

Don’t I look yummy? The blurry/odd/artsy pics were from the limo. There were tons of neon lights and I thought it looked so cool without a flash. Hope you like them I’ll post all of my fun pics from today when I went to Malibu, tomorrow. <3

Good morning! I thought I’d start the day off right! Sorry if you’re stuck at work! hehe 

This was what I was sporting under my dress at Sophie Dee’s birthday party. No panties is a regular occurrence, gotta be ready for ANYTHING!

Camera’s just can’t resist this hot red bush. . .

Ralph Logan , one of my fave photographers that is always at the events, just emailed me some more photos from last Friday nights party when I was out celebrating my birthday. I was feeling generous and thought you would like me to share, so here you go! Enjoy!!

Today is my 24th birthday! I feel so freaking old! I know I’m NOT old but I feel like I am. I still feel like I’m 16 and and can’t wait for the day where I’m 18 and move out and do my own thing. I had a pretty rough childhood, but who hasn’t right?
I think what gets me down the most around and on my birthday, is my father. I was a daddy’s girl up until I was about 4ish. Only after a few months of my sister being born, my dad decided to leave us all because as he put it, “I don’t know what I want.” I guess him being confused meant it was okay to just walk away and turn his back on his family. I grew up not knowing him and barely hearing from or seeing him. It really fucked with me as a adolescent and it still fucks with me a little. I used to be attached to his hip but after he left, our whole family fell apart. I hated my mother because I felt like it was her fault for not trying hard enough to get him back. I was young and didn’t understand the situation but I of course now comprehend what actually went down and I don’t hate her for it. She was really strong and tried her best to keep us afloat.
I get so bummed because my dad sucks at being a father and he can’t remember my birthday or any holiday to save his life. I’m not close to hardly anyone in my family except my sisters and I’ve accepted that but my dad just gets under my skin and I can’t get rid of it.
I did “re-meet” him about a year ago when I was living in Florida and that was awkward. I had found out from my grandmother (my dad’s mom) that my dad had moved to Florida again and conveniently was only an hour away from me. I thought about it for awhile and then I decided to put the hard feelings behind me and give him a call. I’ve always been very mature and I figured there was no sense going through life with a grudge and so much hate towards someone. I wanted to be the bigger person, tell him how I felt, within reason, and hope that we could move forward in a good direction and make up for lost times. Life is short and I wanted to have my family back, whether it was separated or not, it didn’t matter.
When I gave him that call, it was a very confusing and awkward call but he said he was happy I got in touch with him. He told me I had 2 step-brothers and 2 step-sisters that I needed to meet and they had already known about me and were excited to know their big sister. I love kids, especially siblings, so I was beyond excited to meet them as well.
I went there for the first time and couldn’t have been more nervous. It was so weird being nervous to see family. Aren’t they supposed to be the ones where you feel the most comfortable around? The kids were freaking adorable and we bonded almost right away! My dad was being extremely weird and kept asking what was wrong. I suppose he expected us to bond right away as well, but there was too much negative history for that to happen. The longer I stayed, the more I wanted to punch him in the face. I tried so hard to put a smile on my face but he didn’t want to talk about the past, he just wanted to pretend like nothing ever happened. He really fucked up my mom, grandmother (my mom’s mom, I lived with her until she passed away in ‘04), sister and my life, and made it extremely hard to survive. I wanted answers and most of all, I wanted an apology. I don’t have any children at the moment and I’m not a guy but I don’t see how someone could walk away from their children like that and be able to go on and completely forget that they even exist.
I went back a few times and even took care of the kids for a week because his new girlfriend was out of town and he needed my help. I took time off of work (when I really needed the money) and I never got a thank you. I felt like he was just using me to take care of the kids and as much as I loved them and wanted to get to know them better and be in their lives as much as possible, I had to take myself out of that situation. My dad wasn’t sorry and he could care less how I felt. I was really hoping that we would make some progress but I felt like we took 10 steps backwards instead. He’ll never change and I really feel bad for my brothers and sisters. I don’t want them to have to grow up and have to deal with such a shitty dad but as much as I want to step in and save them, I can’t. It’s not my battle and even though he’s put me in such emotional turmoil, I’m a much stronger person today because of it. When the time comes for me to have children, I will make sure I will always be there for them and no matter what, I will never turn my back on them, I think the only gift he ever gave me was the gift of knowing how great of a mother I want to be when I have children. That’s it though. As far as I’m concerned, he can fall off of the planet. I have no desire to see him again and he will NOT be invited to my wedding or a part of his future grandchildren’s lives.
Birthdays for me aren’t like everyone else’s. I have crazy thoughts going through my head because even though I’m happy with the way my life has turned out so far, I can’t help but think about what COULD have been. I’m kind of on the fence as to if I really want my father to call me on my birthday but since he hasn’t been around for it for 20 years, I’m not expecting my phone to ring. I think I’m okay with that too because my birthday and this past weekend has gone very well without him. I survived this long without him so I think I’ll be alright.

Onto some positive news, if you look to the top left of my blog you will see a little section that says “My Biggest Fans”. That little section is my top ten fans that have left me the most comments since I started this blog. I did that because you all know how much I appreciate the support you guys show. I really wanted to showcase those that take that extra moment to show their love and support towards my blog. That list will update every month with the new top 10 people that comment (it does it automatically) so each month I will be giving a little prize to the one who is on top. I was trying to think of what I was going to give out this month but I want to know what YOU would want if you were the winner?! Do you want a pair of panties? Autographed picture/movie? I don’t know, you tell me! And keep it within reason guys, I’m not wonder woman over here and can’t make just anything happen! So if YOU are on that list right now, and/or want to be in that #1 spot to win a gift from me, give me suggestions on what you’d want and make sure you comment and show your support. Also, I will keep an eye on the comments, one word comments are lame so don’t cheat. I want to show my love to those of you that really care and have been supportive! Love you all and leave me all of your suggestions asap so I can get it together for you! xoxo

Even though my birthday isn’t official until tonight at midnight I wanted to give a little recap on what went down this weekend.

Friday was kind of a hectic day. I woke up early, took my boyfriend to work like I always do, went to the gym like I’ve been doing all last week for an hour or so and then went to my office to have a meeting. I was there for a little while brainstorming and figuring out some loose ends before heading home to meet up with Cassandra. The meeting I had was last minute so the original plan was for Cassandra to come over a lot earlier so we could go shopping and have plenty of time to pick something out for that night’s festivities. We’re both picky when it comes to finding the “perfect” outfit so I knew we needed to have enough time. I was really set on this because the only money I was going to spend on myself for my birthday was this outfit. Well, I didn’t get out of the meeting until a lot later then expected so Cassandra didn’t get to my place until 1sh. I was in the shower when she came over so we wound up getting a late start on the shopping. Our first stop was the closest mall to my place which we neither had been to before and it was the shittiest mall I have ever been to. Maybe it seemed that way because we were so fixed on finding something in particular but it felt like there were only a handful of “good” stores to choose from and they had nothing that we liked. By the time we were finishing up at the mall, it was around 3 and my friend Eve had finally made it into town. She lives 2 hours away so we went back to my place to meet her and set out for another place to shop.

While we were on our way to my place, I got a text from my boyfriend that he needed me to pick him up from work. The plan was for him to take the bus because he knew that I had a lot going on that day but he told me that he had gotten me a gift. He hadn’t had time to cash his paycheck so all he had on him was a small amount of cash. He borrowed some money from a co-worker but because they were leaving at 5, he needed me to come get him so he could pay his co-worker back. I normally would have been totally cool with that and I thought it was sweet that he had been thinking of me and gotten me something, but it totally messed up our plans. My boyfriend works around the Hollywood/Beverly Hills area and traffic is a bitch there normally, let alone at 5 on a Friday. It turned out that it was pointless for us to stop in Hollywood to continue shopping when traffic was so bad and we needed to be at my bf’s work at 5. Needless to say I was really annoyed because I was really set on getting an outfit. We couldn’t go shopping after we got my boyfriend because we had to be at Cassandra’s by 6 to get our makeup and hair done for the party that we were going to that night. It takes an hour for each of us so we were extremely pressed for time. I kind of had a meltdown for a second because I had my heart set on a new outfit (I always feel awesome in something new, must be a girl thing) and I felt like I had worn everything that I had in my closet. I had to force myself to pick something out but I snapped myself out of my bad mood and just dealt with it.

Ellie, the makeup artist Cassandra always uses, made me feel pretty my doing an awesome job with my hair and makeup so that helped a lot too, as well as Cassandra being a sweetheart and paying for my makeup to be done. She really is one of the sweetest girls I have ever met. Before long, time had flown by and it was time to go to the party. Eve, Cassandra and I met Sophie and her hubby at their place and followed them to the club. It was just an industry party and I like going out clubbing so I decided it would be fun to “celebrate” my birthday there. After getting there and doing some red carpet pictures and an interview, we went into the club where it became freaking packed. It was at Area in West Hollywood and I had never been there before. It was really nice and the party began! I was a little annoyed by how many people were there because it made it hard to sit, stand and most importantly, make it to the bar! Speaking of the bar, it sucked! I don’t know what the deal was but Cassandra and I just couldn’t get a buzz. We had more then a few shots and nothing seemed to do the trick. I’m a freaking light weight too so I don’t know what the deal was. I mingled and danced a little bit but we left a little early. Traffic would have been a bitch leaving the club right at 2 so I think we left at 130 or so. I had a good time but I realized I’m not a big fan of clubs out here. When I can’t move around and have my own space and people keep bumping into me non-stop, I get over it real quick.

I took Cassandra home after the club but Eve spent the night. Eve actually wound up spending the whole weekend at my place. She had plans to do other things and I’m not sure what happened there but I think they fell through. I woke up kind of early yesterday and my boyfriend was really sweet and made me breakfast. He can cook pretty well but he NEVER makes breakfast because he usually fucks it up, but he didn’t this time. I was really happy and it was good too By the time breakfast was over and I watched a little college football, it was time to get ready for my shoot. I already told you guys the whole story of what happened when I went at noon. When I got back home from all of that, my boyfriend and I, with Eve decided to see if we could find garage sales. My boyfriend and I like to do that and we find some awesome things; you  know how the saying goes, someone else’s trash is someone’s treasure We didn’t find anything but worked up an appetite so we grabbed lunch at a diner. Once we finished there it was time for me to drop them off and go back to set. The shoot was awesome like I had said and when I came home, my boyfriend was cooking bbq chicken for dinner. We ate and I passed out because I was beat.

Today was a really chill day today. We all just hung out and pretty much watched football while I blogged of course. I’m not gonna lie, I was kind of bummed that I didn’t do much this weekend. I really wanted to spend a day at the beach and chill that way but it could have been worse. I’m glad I got to go out on Friday and I suppose thats good enough. Tomorrow is my official birthday and I don’t have anything planned really. My boyfriend has to work all day and I need to go to the office and work a little bit. My boyfriend and I will probably go out to dinner or tomorrow or I might just decide to stay in. Who knows. I guess since I’m getting older, there’s no need to go all out for my birthday.

Pics are from Friday night. And for those that would like to send gifts, you can send to 19360 Rinaldi St. #474 Porter Ranch, CA 91326. Just an fyi, it’s a PO Box so don’t try and stalk me, lol. Also if you do send something, please let me know. My PO box is about 30 min, double that with traffic, away from me so I don’t go there and check every day. Thank you in advance!

I always start off my blogs by saying thank you to you guys and I don’t know if it’s annoying or not but every time I post, I’m in awe by the awesome responses you guys leave. It actully motivates me to blog even more! I really do think I have the coolest fans EVER! I can’t help but get excited to see what you all have to say after I post. I always want to say that I have a counter on my blog to see how many hits it gets every day and the numbers keep getting higher and higher. Thank you for making my blog kick ass, it puts the biggest smile on my face! I can’t wait to see how it does once my site is up!

Speaking of my site, I know I keep saying that it’s coming soon, and it truly is but there were just some bumps in the road to prevent it from launching sooner. I talked to one of my partners today and found out a lot of details and got a lot of questions answered. Within the next few days I will find out a time frame as to when it will be launched (hopefully before the new year) and I will make sure you guys are the first to know! I am so fucking excited, you have no idea!!
I’ve gotten so behind on updating you what I’ve been up to that I need to go back in time a little bit. I’ve taken so many photos for you guys and haven’t posted them so forgive me for having to go back a month or 2. The next few updates will probably be about things that have happened some time ago. I suppose I’ll start as recent as possible. Most of you that really keep up with what I’m up to on the social networking sites, know that I’ve become good buddies with Sophie Dee. I’ve only known her for some short time now but she’s a really down to earth girl and I love hanging out with her. I’m obsessed with her accent and I could seriously just sit for hours and listen to her talk. I love chill girls in the industry so I’m glad that we’ve become friends. The last time I saw her was on Saturday when my boyfriend and I went over and watched UFC at her place. Gianna Michaels was also there so it was nice to watch yummy guys fight with some hot ladies. A picture of all of us is below with the rest.

This past Friday I also shot some content with Sophie for our sites. The scene is already posted on her site www.clubsophiedee.com. It started off as a girl/girl scene and then the pervy camera guy decided to stick his cock in for some attention so we shared and gave him a hot hand job. It was really hot and if you’re a fan of hand jobs, you’ll definitely have to check it out. A few BTS pics are below as well.

I’ve also went to a few parties with Sophie too. I have SO many pictures from those parties that I’m going to have to divide them all up because it would make one hell of an entry! I know you guys wouldn’t mind but a shit ton of pics takes some time. I don’t mind so much but I want to make my entries easy enough to read and view so I promise tons of pics asap. Like I said, I have a lot more to tell you all about so bookmark my blog if you haven’t already. I’m trying to blog every day now, if not twice a day. As far as I know, I don’t have much going on tomorrow other then getting my car smogged so I’ll try to post twice!

Oh!! If you haven’t made not already, please do! My 24th birthday is on Monday. My birthdays usually wind up being lame but I’m still excited anyway. I have a special addy if you would like to send me some birthday love so let me know in a comment if you would like it. I made sure to get a special PO box for fan letters and gifts I started to make a wish list today and I tried to post the link here on my blog but for some reason it isn’t showing. If you know anything about blogs and can help me figure that out, also please let me know. I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong, lol.

Now to finishing Star Trek and Sons of Anarchy! Love you all!! xoxo

PS- @bouges on twitter asked for bush pics and because I’m very fond of my bush, I decided to fill that favor!